Timing IS Everything!

I have always thought of myself as a late bloomer.

I got my first period late. I got my boobs late. I finished college late.

What I realize now is maybe I am not as much a late bloomer as a slow one.

I understand now it is not about when you bloom but more importantly how you bloom.

I am definitely not one of those people who things come to easily. I have to work and work hard.

Most difficulties I have experienced along the way, were usually because of my own self-limited thoughts and feelings about myself.


Even all my the false starts and perceived disappointments in my life have opened me up just a little more.

I have done my best to actively learn from my mistakes and gain meaning from the lesson.

I am not going to lie, old habits and patterns are really hard to break. If your intention is to grow, be stronger, healthier and find balance you will get there. I promise.

Everyday just do the work, continue to pursue and seek. Continue to learn and reach out to other women and mentors.

BECAUSE ONE DAY YOU WILL GET IT RIGHT.

You will have grown and blossomed into the women you knew you could be.

Timing IS Everything. Be patient. Do what you can today and leave the rest up to the universe. It is waiting to hear your call.

For today just take notice- what intentions have you been watering the soil of your life with?

Sometimes There Are Paths and Sometimes You Have to Make Your Own

Last weekend my house was surrounded by 3 to 5ft of snow. I have never seen anything like it and when we went out to shovel, I was amazed by the walls of snow. For a minute it looked like it would take days to dig out and our poor bulldog Thomas had no where to do his business until we shoveled out a area for him. We quickly bundled up and got our tools in hand; me a shovel, my husband a snow blower and got to work.

Luckily, hours earlier, I had observed one of our neighbor's technique to removing such large amounts of snow. He would use the shovel to push and pull down the top foot and a half and then use the blower on the bottom half. He used this technique over and over until he cleared his whole driveway and out into the street. Teaming up with my husband, I pushed and pulled the top half of the snow down and he blew it into huge 6 ft piles in our yard. Together we cleared the driveway in no time at all.

Later that day, I realized I was going to run out of pull ups.Our roads were still not plowed and our city was in a state of an emergency. They told us it could be days until they got to us.  I am potty training my son, but he still needs them at night, so right away I called my babysitter who lives around the corner because I knew she had some.  I headed out on the foot path on our street created by other neighbors. As I walked along, I used the steps that were there before me until I got to a point where I noticed there were no more tracks. The snow was up to my thighs but I decided to just keep going. It was really hard work to make my way, but I figured I need the workout anyway. I took breaks to catch my breath and used a broom stick a neighbor gave me to help keep me steady.

Along the way, I would see neighbors who would caution me to take my time and others encourage me to keep going. I took one deep step after another until finally I got to my destination and plopped onto my butt for a rest. I felt relief when I was greeted by my babysitter, a big smile on her face as she handed me the bag of pull ups. On my way back home, I could see an easier way using some walking paths and a plowed street. When I returned home I felt accomplish in a small way. I had a taste of what it might be like for a frontier man/woman except without wolves and bears. :)

That night, I had a thought about my short journey around the corner. I realized that when we have a goal or dream in life there are paths that have been pre-made for us making the journey a little easier. Sometimes there are no paths and we have to make them ourselves, which is much harder.  We get tired, we may want to give up and turn around but if we keep going we can come upon those pre-made paths again. It just reminded me how important it is to keep you head up, listen to your inner voice, use the tools your are given along the way and  take encouragement from strangers. Find pre-laid paths when you can but also don't be afraid to work hard, sweat, let your heart race,  feel the blood pumping through your body and make your own paths. Give yourself the gift of accomplishment that comes from striving beyond your comfort zone because that my friends is where the magic happens! Plus, the paths you make can be used again and will make the journey a little easier for someone else.

Today I Showed Up for my Creative Dream.

Today I am reminded of a poem by Dawna Markova.


I will not die an unlived life
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart 
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance;
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.



10 years ago a sketch came to life in my journal and today I showed up for it. 
Even though it scared the sh*t out of me, I just showed up. 
Even though I have no idea what will come next, I just showed up.
I am proud that I was brave enough to share my vision and put it into the world 
in a more tangible way. 
Even if nothing comes of it, at least I was part of the conversation. 

Stay tuned to see what happens next. 

Devotion: Get Your A** Off the Couch and Create

I woke up early this morning wanting to share my experience so far this year with my word of the year- DEVOTION. I choose this word knowing I longed to be more devoted to my art.

I am so easily distracted and derailed, I thought is it time I become more committed. I don't want to let weeks, months, or even years go by sitting on my couch watching the 20th season of Real Housewives instead of painting.

Every week at work, I bump into one of my colleagues who is also an artist. Every time he sees me he says, "Jennifer, what are you working on?" My answer is usually nothing really, I am so busy, I have a three year old, a husband, a house and a full-time job. When I  return the question, he then proceeds to tell me about all the time he has been spending painting and working on putting together shows. I usually walk away, inspired but disgruntled, mumbling under my breath that it is so much easier for a man to just go off to his studio and create. I have responsibilities which include cooking meals, cleaning up, caring for my son and spending time with my husband, oh yeah, and I would like to workout too!

For a women to create she has to come to terms with fears of not being a good mother/wife and get over the guilt. This struggle is depicted soulfully in documentary Who Does She Think She Is. I keep reminding myself...

I AM NOT SELFISH BECAUSE I HAVE THE URGE TO CREATE AND EXPRESS MYSELF. 

Choosing DEVOTION as my word of the year, allowed me start meditating/thinking about my time and what I devote it to. Last week in San Francisco, I woke up really early and started to write down really how I spend my time. I realized, the first obvious place to find time to create is to just cut out TV.  If I did that,  I would get plenty of time back to focus on my art. TV is a bad habit I picked up in my home growing up. After my mom got remarried it seemed that the TV was always on. Before that my mother would usually play music, which allowed more space to create and play.

My husband too likes to watch TV and when I get home from work it is usually on.  The TV is what he uses to relax after a long day. I find that I get sucked in after dinner/bath-time and spend the rest of my night on the couch thinking about all the things I want to do but I am not. It is a really bad habit, I have to break.

Awareness is the first step to change.

Having a tangible understanding what I devote my time to, gives me power to make decisions based on what my priorities are and what truly brings me Joy. I can tell you this- TV does not bring me Joy. I'd rather sit with my son in the kitchen and play with play dough or build a car wash out of blocks for his Hot wheels.

Your time is valuable. If you want to accomplish a goal in your life but believe you don't have time for it, ask yourself these questions about your DEVOTION:

• Who/What do you love?
• Who/What are you loyal to? 
• Who/What do you have enthusiasm? 

These are the first steps. My next goal- evaluate my DEVOTION to chocolate and pizza.  Maybe if I do that I can finally lose these last 10 pounds!