Today I am the Guest Blogger over at Inner Alignment Mandalas

I am really excited about the Winter Harmony series that Jill Marie and Michelle are doing over at Inner Alignment Mandalas.

Mostly, I feel honored to be a part of this wonderful group of women that have shared their secrets to harmonizing with winter.

Today is my turn, I am a guest blogger and I would love for you to check out my contribution and read all about how I am harmonizing with winter this year.

www.InnerAlignmentMandalas.blogspot.com.

2012 Closing Ceremony : Part 2- My First Word of the Year

Word of the Year ATC

Going into 2012 I was looking for a new way to create and find meaning in the year. In one of our conversations Michelle suggested I choose a Word of the Year. Instead of coming up with a new year’s resolution, that I would just break or forget about, choosing a word instead sets a theme for the year. She suggested utilizing the “Your Word of the Year Discover Tool” developed by Christine Kane.

I called together a couple of my Soul Sisters, my two best friends and sister to pick our Word of the Year. We gathered early on a Saturday morning for a Creativity Circle and Tea. Together we set our intentions, choose our words and created Artist Trading Cards (ATC), something tangible we could use as a prompt for the year ahead. The word I choose was BUILD.  I wanted to continue to build the foundation for my creative dream. I had the vision, I had the education, and I had the life experience. I wanted to build my business knowledge, rebuild my relationship with my art (painting) and build a support system of like-minded women. I would BUILD my year with blocks of experience, love, nurturing and support.

OPENED MY MIND

One of the first emails I got after I set my word of the year was from my favorite artist/author SARK . She was promoting the Women on Purpose Spiritual Business Boot camp hosted by Sage Lavine.  I signed up for this free teleconference series. I was exposed to 30 women who have creatived heart centered businesses. They talked about discovering your passion, setting your vision, branding, marketing, and money management. I know have a beautiful journal filled with tons of insights, tips and inspiration.

CONNECTED TO MY SPIRIT

Next, I signed up for BIG a FEARLESS® Painting workshop at Dirty Footprints Studio.  This six week online painting workshop was an amazing experience. I set up a studio space in the basement and my husband put up a wall for me to create my BIG paintings. The intention behind this painting process is to connect to your intuition. It is about what happens in the process not the final product.  The artwork that came out of this year is some of my most vibrant. I have always understood the healing power of my art. My natural way of creating has always been from this inner place and it is probably why I had a hard time when I first took college level art classes. I didn’t want to spend hours painting peppers, still life or landscapes. I wanted to paint from my internal world and connect to something deeper. This knowing is how I ended up with an undergraduate degree in Art Therapy instead of Art Education.

Sample of my artwork from 2012

It was through this beautiful community Connie created on her website, that I discovered my Painting Tribe and a circle of Creative Women Souls just like me.

STRENGTHENING MY BODY

During this past year I got a personal trainer to help me get in better shape. The first one didn’t work out like I wanted so I tried a studio 20 minutes away from my house called Tuff Girl Fitness at Bodyology. I had been following Christa Doran’s post on Facebook for more than a year. Her message was inspiring and every post was filled with passion and determination.

Right away when I walked into her studio, music blasting she was yelling loudly at the women in her class. Motivating them not to give up, reminding them how strong and beautiful they are. I fell in love with her right away. The energy she creates at her studio is pure magic. I finished up my year going to 2 classes a week, addicted to the way she would tweak me while I was working my ass off in her class, sweaty and lifting weight I never thought I would do. I got stronger and stronger, not just in my body but in my mind to. I would leave her studio every night feeling like I could do or accomplish anything I put my mind to.

LESSON LEARNED

Although I didn’t get to all the goals I had written down in my journal, I made leaps and bounds in my belief in myself and what I have to offer. 2012 was year full of me letting go of my insecurities and all the ways I blocked myself from being the women I know I am. My favorite book of the year was “This Time I Dance” by Tama J. Kieves. The message I needed to get this year was I don’t have to be perfect. I am good enough, I need to practice every day. I had to let go of this mindset that you have to be an instant master to pursue your dreams but that is not the case. “If you wait for your skill before you dare anything, you will only wait and ache.” That is exactly what I have been doing. I have been learning, growing but not acting for fear of failing and not  being good enough. So I leave 2012 behind knowing with my whole heart that “Genius does not often arrive as genius, but as imperfection tolerated and transformed by love, focus, and devotion”.

I am grateful for every Soul Sister who has crossed my path this last year. I am truly blessed to know you, learn from you and experience your gifts. Thank you for being brave role models for me to aspire to. Your devotion to your passions has given me permission to pour love and devotion into mine!  

2012 Closing Ceremony- Part 1



So I am about 3 and a half weeks late not bad considering my record. I am a procrastinator. I am a master of getting caught in my head, thinking about all the things I need and want to do and letting it all just slip away with time. At the end of 2011, I decided enough was enough. I was done avoiding and I decided I would address the hurdles that came up on my path one by one. First thing was to finish my master’s degree. I started my degree in Experiential Health and Healing in Winter 2003. For two years, I attending every lecture, participated in every hands on workshop, read every book and then some. I built beautiful relationships with my cohort sisters and grew immensely.  Here is what I didn’t do: finish my internship, hand in my papers and final project. For 5 years, I let this big incomplete on my record weigh on my mind. In that time, I got married, bought a house, changed jobs, climbed the corporate later, traveled and coordinated Medical Education Programs and had a son. Even with all those other accomplishments, I knew I had to finish what I started and get back to my creative dream.

I called my program coordinator and set up a meeting to convince the director of school that I deserved a 2^nd chance to finish what I started. I explained to them all I learned and how I wanted to apply my lessons. I had a creative dream to open a creativity and healing space for women and girls and I wanted to pursue it. In fact, it was this creative dream that lead me to the program at The Graduate Institute in the first place. They reviewed my journals and my final project plans and gave me 4 months to complete my assignments. Finally, I had a deadline I was determined to stick to.



During the time leading up to this decision, I met Michelle Geoffroy, an Artist blogger from Illinois. I stumbled upon her searching the terms “studio for creative healing”, which was the name of the business I was working on for my final project. I read her blog the Creative Healing Studio and sent her an email telling her how much I enjoyed her artwork and posts. I asked if she would be willing to speak to me about her journey. She agreed and we had our first phone call of many. Michelle and I were Soul Sisters from the start. We talked about everything from books to workshops. We talked about our families and our dreams, how to balance them and still do the work we are called to pursue. She impressed me with her artwork, her Soul Work, her insights and her ability to balance that with a husband and 5 boys.



Final Project Cover Created 2011 JAK Google Word Cloud Created 2011 from Final Project Copy



After I shared my story with her, she offered to help coach me through finishing my assignments. We spoke bi-weekly and her prompting and guidance helped me without a doubt stay focused and get to my goal. With Michelle’s support I was able to tackle my biggest obstacle. My biggest fear was I wasn’t a good writer, I was not going to be able to express clearly all I had learned. If it has to do with art supplies I don’t have any problem, but words were not so easy for me. I was not a writer but to get to my goal I had to change this attitude and become one. I completed a couple of short term papers and my 80 final project, a book with artwork. I worked hour upon hour, dreading up old memories, reliving and facing my mistakes, and acknowledging all my accomplishments. For me it was painful facing the blank white, there was discomfort and I had to really push myself to stay focus and keep writing and creating. What came out was “Manifestation of a Creative Dream- How One Drawing Led Me On a Spiritual Journey to Heal Myself and Create a Space to Inspire Other Souls to do the Same".  What unveale itself is my discomfort was a story of healing. The beautiful lesson from finishing my final project was getting a bird’s eye view of the past 10 years of my life and seeing how every good and bad experience shaped me. I faced my pains, acknowledged them, healed them and walked out the other side bathed in a rainbow of possibitly.

Google Word Cloud Created 2011 from Final Project Copy



When I finished, a huge weight lifted off my mind, I had accomplished something big in my life. I could tackle 2012 head on with purpose and intention. I knew one thing, all the work I did was not going to go to waste. It was time to start to focus on getting rid of my blocks and focus on steps needed to open my creative health & healing studio.



Are you Aware of Joy-Stealers in Your Life?

joy [ joy ]  

1. great happiness: feelings of great happiness or pleasure, especially of an elevated or spiritual kind

2. something that brings happiness: a pleasurable aspect of something or source of happiness

3. enjoy something: to delight in something

Synonyms: happiness, delight, pleasure, enjoyment, bliss, ecstasy, elation, joyfulness, thrill, gladness, exultation, rapture.

A couple of weeks ago I was participating in an online FEARLESS PAINTING® workshop given by Connie Hozvika at Dirty Footprints Studio. Our first assignment was to paint from a place of Joy. What followed was me painting like my three year old does. I painted and threw so much paint on to the paper, the tape holding it to the wall finally quit and fell to the ground. I thought “this painting is done” but felt compelled to continue to smear and smudge. I added more layers of florescent colors using my hands and when I thought it was finished, I added the word Joy.

The amazing aspect of process painting is how focusing attention on the concept of Joy expresses itself from your intuition. For me as I painted, thoughts and memories emerged about people, places and things that bring me Joy but also that steal my Joy. I was reminded of my son and how easily he finds and expresses Joy. His natural curiosity leads him to Joy. A puddle leads him to Joy. A new goofy hat leads him to Joy. When he is feeling Joyful you can see it in his face, he dances, he sings, and he will say Thank you. Three year olds are the perfect example of what living from a place of Joy looks like.

One Saturday on our way into Target, my son insisted on wearing his new Donald Duck themed Mickey Mouse Ears. He wasn't going to let my husband steal his Joy.When my husband asked him to take off the hat because people might laugh at him, he got visibly upset, turned around and got out of the car on my side proclaiming to me “daddy is stupid”.  I couldn’t help but chuckle at his clarity but then I told him it wasn’t a nice thing to say about daddy, though I did agree with him in this instance maybe daddy was being a little close-minded. In all fairness to my husband, it wasn’t his intent to steal Michael's Joy but to protect him from ridicule.

I had a realization in that moment, that if my son was not harming himself or anyone else, if something brought him Joy I would support it. Now, I know that may be easier said than done, but I think it is best to protect his Joyful spirit as long as I possibly can. I will at least be aware of Joy- Stealers well-meaning or not, including myself. I now understand how years and years of Joy-Stealing can lead us to be unhappy, unfulfilled adults. 

Recently I stopped at a rest stop to get gas and a coffee. On my way out, I saw a rack of colorful winter hats from Peru. At the very top of the stand, on a mannequin head was a rainbow stripped hat. Instantly I lit up, but I thought maybe it is too bright, too colorful. I quickly recognized and quieted the Joy-Stealing voice inside my head. I decided to buy it because it delighted me, it made me smile and I just knew it belonged to me.

So many of us have become disconnected to what truly brings us Joy. As adults we have years and years of instances of someone or something stealing our Joy. Maybe it was our parents, our teachers, a crappy boss or job, an energy draining relationship or probably our own inner critic.

So I am wondering, can you remember a time when your Joy was stolen?

But more importantly can you remember a moment when you reclaimed your Joy?