Are you Aware of Joy-Stealers in Your Life?

joy [ joy ]  

1. great happiness: feelings of great happiness or pleasure, especially of an elevated or spiritual kind

2. something that brings happiness: a pleasurable aspect of something or source of happiness

3. enjoy something: to delight in something

Synonyms: happiness, delight, pleasure, enjoyment, bliss, ecstasy, elation, joyfulness, thrill, gladness, exultation, rapture.

A couple of weeks ago I was participating in an online FEARLESS PAINTING® workshop given by Connie Hozvika at Dirty Footprints Studio. Our first assignment was to paint from a place of Joy. What followed was me painting like my three year old does. I painted and threw so much paint on to the paper, the tape holding it to the wall finally quit and fell to the ground. I thought “this painting is done” but felt compelled to continue to smear and smudge. I added more layers of florescent colors using my hands and when I thought it was finished, I added the word Joy.

The amazing aspect of process painting is how focusing attention on the concept of Joy expresses itself from your intuition. For me as I painted, thoughts and memories emerged about people, places and things that bring me Joy but also that steal my Joy. I was reminded of my son and how easily he finds and expresses Joy. His natural curiosity leads him to Joy. A puddle leads him to Joy. A new goofy hat leads him to Joy. When he is feeling Joyful you can see it in his face, he dances, he sings, and he will say Thank you. Three year olds are the perfect example of what living from a place of Joy looks like.

One Saturday on our way into Target, my son insisted on wearing his new Donald Duck themed Mickey Mouse Ears. He wasn't going to let my husband steal his Joy.When my husband asked him to take off the hat because people might laugh at him, he got visibly upset, turned around and got out of the car on my side proclaiming to me “daddy is stupid”.  I couldn’t help but chuckle at his clarity but then I told him it wasn’t a nice thing to say about daddy, though I did agree with him in this instance maybe daddy was being a little close-minded. In all fairness to my husband, it wasn’t his intent to steal Michael's Joy but to protect him from ridicule.

I had a realization in that moment, that if my son was not harming himself or anyone else, if something brought him Joy I would support it. Now, I know that may be easier said than done, but I think it is best to protect his Joyful spirit as long as I possibly can. I will at least be aware of Joy- Stealers well-meaning or not, including myself. I now understand how years and years of Joy-Stealing can lead us to be unhappy, unfulfilled adults. 

Recently I stopped at a rest stop to get gas and a coffee. On my way out, I saw a rack of colorful winter hats from Peru. At the very top of the stand, on a mannequin head was a rainbow stripped hat. Instantly I lit up, but I thought maybe it is too bright, too colorful. I quickly recognized and quieted the Joy-Stealing voice inside my head. I decided to buy it because it delighted me, it made me smile and I just knew it belonged to me.

So many of us have become disconnected to what truly brings us Joy. As adults we have years and years of instances of someone or something stealing our Joy. Maybe it was our parents, our teachers, a crappy boss or job, an energy draining relationship or probably our own inner critic.

So I am wondering, can you remember a time when your Joy was stolen?

But more importantly can you remember a moment when you reclaimed your Joy?